'Walking On' in a Journey of Faith, Loss, and Calling 

For ten years, Scott (MAT '06) and Andrea Sward (MSMFT '04) had dreams of one day ministering in Cambodia, and while they were students at Fuller, they lived, worked, and ministered among Cambodian immigrants in Long Beach, California. Shortly after completing their degrees the couple participated in a five-week program in Colorado, receiving training to be career missionaries in Cambodia and thus finally pursue their long-awaited call.

Just nine days before they were to leave the country, however, tragedy struck. As they were driving to church, another driver lost consciousness and hit the rear of the Swards' rental van—killing their 18-month old son, Isaac, as well as two of their friends, and leaving Andrea in critical condition with a traumatic brain injury. "An ordinary Sunday morning turned into an unthinkable nightmare," recalls Scott. "The horror and grief were more than I could bear." Mourning the loss of their son and unsure of the extent to which Andrea might recover, the Swards were left reeling in crushed dreams and overwhelming grief.

In March 2011, three years after the horrific accident, Scott emailed President Richard J. Mouw, thanking him and the Fuller community for "the tremendous outpouring of love and support" they received in the days following the accident. Now, looking back on their experience, both Andrea and Scott see how Fuller contributed to their foundation of faith so they could absorb the impact of this life-altering tragedy.

"Our time at Fuller provided us with an understanding of God, the Cross, prayer and redemption," Scott explains, "that was large and durable enough to withstand even this severe battering to our lives and to our faith." Andrea agrees, remembering the way that she and Scott clung to readings that Old Testament professor John Goldingay had assigned for class, as well as his own writings, on the role of lament in a Christian's life—a topic previously unfamiliar to the couple. "In the aftermath," says Andrea, "we both found much comfort in being reassured that our grief, and even our anger, was not beyond the scope of God."

"I will be forever grateful to Dr. Goldingay for introducing me to the Psalms of Lament," adds Scott, "and for teaching and modeling how to 'walk on' in the face of loss and ambiguity."

And the Swards did walk on—a year and a half after their accident, Andrea had recovered to an extent doctors had previously considered impossible, and the couple moved to Cambodia in September 2009. Now, Andrea is using her counseling skills to provide therapeutic services to children who are victims of trauma, and Scott is teaching at a ministry training center designed to equip young leaders from the poorer, more remote parts of Cambodia for Christian leadership. Although they cannot revive the dreams they had for their precious son, Isaac, they are seeing new life breathed into their dream of ministering in Cambodia. Andrea sees this season as a new chapter in their lives, where they are experiencing new friendships, ministry opportunities, and a new step forward together as husband and wife. "We are witnessing God's redemptive work in the mess our lives were left in," she says.

"Moving to Cambodia meant saying 'yes' to Jesus once more, afresh, anew," Scott shares, admitting that he and Andrea did not know what to expect—and still don't—but do know they are called to follow. "So we can't stand still," he says, "and as we follow, each step brings with it a new beginning."